Why people need more people

Posted on March 31, 2009 by Tom

It used to be easy.  You got your family, if you were lucky you got 4-5 good friends that you could share everything with and than there were the people in the town.  That was it, that was someone’s social sphere not even 100 years ago. 

Still, it’s probably the time your parents refer to as ‘the best they ever had’.  Where kids had lots of friends, played all day and didn’t have a care in the world.  It’s a discussion that usually pops up at a family dinner when the youngest at the table says something the older family members don’t really understand.  They think it has something to do with young people becoming more and more egocentric, thinking they don’t need anyone, they can do it all by themselves.

Truth is, this is probably the first generation that has spent so much effort into building a vast network around themselves and doing it in a way generations before us couldn’t.  It feels like a contradiction… growing individualization and a growing need for a vast network to identify themselves with.  Is it as valuable as it once was?  Probably not.  There are just 24 hours in a day and you have to divide your 24 hours you have each day.  Still, chances are bigger that you find that person ‘you need’.  People don’t expect the same relationship with others like your parents did, in a time where you not only had to remember birthdays, but every other detail that popped up.

Thank god social media came along.  It showed us that it can be a benefit to know a lot of people fairly well, than to know a handfull very well.  The great thing about online communities and the distance it presents is that you only need a small common ground to get along.  While people once had to live with eachother day in, day out, with predictable results, there’s no need for that anymore.  You don’t have to talk for hours with someone anymore, just a mail once in a while can get the job done in the long run.  That freedom of time gives us the chance to invest it into building even more relationships than we once used to.  And we need those relationships, because it’s a double edged sword especially since most of them aren’t that meaningfull like ‘in the old days’.  If you neglect to invest time into your friends, sooner or later you’ll get left behind.

You may want to read:

• Social media, not for me!
• Is it possible to measure ROI in social media?
• Are social advertising and marketing the end of privacy?